STOP PRETENDING: what happened when my big sister went crazy
by Sonya Sones

1. Bibliography:
Sones, Sonya. 1999, 2001. STOP PRETENDING: what happened when my big sister went crazy. New York: Harper Collins: Harpertemptest. 1999, 2001. ISBN 0060283874


2. Plot Summary
Stop Pretending is a collection of poems written by a 13 year old who has an older sister that is normal one moment with no signs of mental illness and in the “blink of an eye”, is a manic depressant that snaps and ends up in a mental hospital. The poems are intense, powerful and an emotional roller coaster as the author writes of the mental illness and how it affects the family’s daily lives and the difficulties she has dealing with the illness, her own emotional state and issues involving her friends as they become aware of her sister’s illness.

3. Critical Analysis
This book is written in free-verse, falling rhythms and blank verse (amazon.com). It is a novel that is a fast and easy read. The book is based upon a true account of the author’s who is 13 years old and her older sister who is 19 and has a nervous breakdown on Christmas Eve. The younger sister kept journals of the visits to the mental hospital, life at school, her fears of classmates finding out about her sister and life at home without the sister. The author’s insert at the end of the book mentions having two older sisters. The verse written discusses the mom, dad, older sister and the author’s account of dealing with the effects of the nervous breakdown. The additional family member is not mentioned in the book. The book is exceptionally written to give one a feeling of being at the mental hospital, the pain associated with the sister’s illness and real-life issues or experiences. This book is definitely a must read for teens to adults.

Imagine yourself as a 13 year old, a visitor, alone in the psychiatric ward. Read the following poem found on pages 59 -60 of the book.

The Locked Ward
Lost on the locked ward,
I’m roaming the corridors
crawling with lunatics.

Haunting
the olive drab hallways,
they’re watching me,

stalking me,
rocking and drooling.
Who’ll show me the door?

I’ve got to
get out of here
now!

Spotting a nurse,
I’m suddenly sobbing.
She smiles, walking towards me

and holds out her arms
speaking so soothingly:
“You’re looking lost.

Follow me down this hall.
I’ll lead you out.
It can be scary. I know”

In only a moment,
we’re standing before
a locked elevator door.

“Now where is my key . . . ?”
she ponders aloud.
Something is odd.

Just then, a doctor
walks up and unlocks the door.
Quickly, I hurry aboard.

I turn to thank the nurse.
She winks at me coyly,
and suddenly sticks out her tongue.

Just as the doors close,
I see that she’s drooling,
and rocking and rocking and rocking.


From the author’s note, the sister was released from the psychiatric ward after a few months. She continued to be hospitalized several times but led a satisfying and productive life, continued her visits to the psychiatrist and took medication to control the illness. “She married, earned a master’s degree in library science, and worked as a public librarian for over twenty years.”


4. Review Excerpts

From School Library Journal
Grade 6-9-An unpretentious, accessible book that could provide entry points for a discussion about mental illness-its stigma, its realities, and its affect on family members. Based on the journals Sones wrote at the age of 13 when her 19-year-old sister was hospitalized due to manic depression, the simply crafted but deeply felt poems reflect her thoughts, fears, hopes, and dreams during that troubling time. In one poem, the narrator fears that "If I stay/any longer/than an hour,/ I'll see that my eyes/have turned into her eyes,/my lips/have turned into her lips, ." She dreads having her friends learn of her sister's illness. "If I told them that my sister's nuts,/they might act sympathetic,/but behind my back/would everyone laugh?" and wonders what she could have done to prevent the breakdown. All of the emotions and feelings are here, the tightness in the teen's chest when thinking about her sibling in the hospital, her grocery list of adjectives for mental illness, and the honest truth in the collection's smallest poem, "I don't want to see you./I dread it./There./I've said it." An insightful author's note and brief list of organizations are included.
Sharon Korbeck, Waupaca Area Public Library, WI
Copyright 1999 Reed Business Information, Inc.

From Kirkus Review
“The poems take on life and movement, the individual frames of a movie that in the unspooling become animated telling a compelling tale.”

From ALA Book Review
“This debut novel shows the capacity of poetry to record the personal and translate it into the universal.”

Connections: Read and discuss mental illness with teens and young adults. Discuss the emotions that one may feel when a family member may be in a similar situation. Have the students write a poem in falling rhythm, blank verse or free style using their real life experiences that focuses on a serious issue. Discuss the students poems and the emotions that stem from the works.

Additional stories by Sonya Sones include:
What My Mother Doesn’t Know
One of Those Hideous Books Where the Mother Dies
What My Girlfriend Doesn’t Know